My family and I went to the beach. I went into the freezing, cold ocean and swam out into the deep water. I hopped on my aunty's shoulders. She lifted me up out of the water. As she lifted me up I fell into the water. I made a big splash and water went up my nose. It felt disgusting!
When my family and I got out of the water we got changed and put our stuff into the car. We camped the night at my aunty's house. My cousin, Dolly got a packet of marshmallows. We were going to roast them, but Dolly ate them all. It was a fun day.
By Josiah
Hi Josiah, what awesome writing,! I remember that Dolly ate all the marshmellows too!! Mum and Dad are happy we can catchup with all the activities you are doing at school. Keep having fun while you learn!
ReplyDeleteHi Josiah,
ReplyDeleteYou used some great describing words! The 'freezing cold ocean water' and the big splash you made was very fun to read about because of the vivid words you chose. We like to go camping with our families and sitting by campfires and roasting marshmallows is great fun also.
Your story was easy to make connections to and easy to understand. Your thoughts and ideas were interesting and well developed!
It's a great piece of writing!
Ms. Felton & the Fantastic Fives
http://kidblog.org/FeltonsFifth/
Great job, Josiah! I felt like I was there at the beach with you!!
ReplyDeleteI like the twist at the end of your story! There were no marshmallows left to roast over the campfire. Good job! from Mrs. Crouch in Nebraska
ReplyDeleteAmia: I like the photo, I think the marshmallow looks yummy!
ReplyDeleteJosiah, I love your story! I know just how much time and effort you put into writing this. Look at all your comments. It looks like a lot of people have enjoyed reading your writing. I'm so proud of you. From Miss Gentil
ReplyDeleteWow....what an exciting class room you have....well done Miss Gentil.....wish I was still at school :)
ReplyDeleteYummy I love mashmellows
ReplyDeleteFrom Bianca